Birth Story & 3rd Tri Recap

Officially 9 weeks postpartum today. 9 weeks of figuring out motherhood. 9 weeks loving my sweet Remi! The last 9 weeks have felt so slow and yet like they’ve gone by so fast. I was looking back at some of the photos we first took of Remi and she was so small. She’s seriously grown so much in the last 2 months! She’s so much more interactive with us and is awake for longer stretches. She’s smiling which absolutely melts my heart every time. We’re also sleeping longer stretches at night, which makes me feel alive again!

Before I go into sharing our birth story, I’ll recap the 3rd trimester as I did with both the first and second. The 3rd trimester wasn’t much different from the second. I continued to have pelvic/groin pain that was so bad on some days I couldn’t even walk all that well so that was a big bummer. Not only was it physically challenging, but mentally I struggled because I just wanted to move my body. I know the benefits of staying active during pregnancy and I felt that I was limited because I had so much pain that I couldn’t even walk. I did my best to continue to work out, but definitely had to modify a lot, especially with lower body exercises as I couldn’t do any single leg exercises. I had the occasional calf cramp at night, but definitely not as consistent as the second trimester, so that was an improvement. The fatigue definitely came back a little bit into those last few weeks, but it was no where near as intense as the first trimester. I was still sleeping pretty well but waking more times to pee in the middle night. Other than that, it was just accommodating the growing belly. Bryan was a huge help! He would put my shoes on for me, buckle me into the car, and give me calf massages. It was so sweet!

2 weeks before Remi was born I had to put my dog down unexpectedly. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and made those last few weeks of pregnancy very emotional. I was caught between being devastated losing my first (fur) baby and feeling excited and ready to meet my baby girl. We had hoped baby girl would come before Christmas and after losing Bella we needed her more than ever. My Mom said it best.. what happened with Bella was unexpected, but it allowed us to fully present to be there for her on her last day and gave us time to mourn her so that we could be fully focused on loving our baby girl when she arrived. It breaks my heart that Bella didn’t get to meet her baby sister. The significance of Remi’s middle name is in remembrance of her big sister she never got the chance to meet outside the womb.

Baby girls due date was December 20th. Early that morning around 2 am I woke up feeling crampy. It’s true what they say, that you will know the difference between Braxton hicks contractions and real contractions. This felt very different from Braxton hicks. It kept me up about for about an hour, but eventually I was able to go back to sleep. When I woke up later that morning I thought “this could be the day. She’s coming right on time!” As I got up and moving for the day nothing really happened. I didn’t feel any more contractions. It wasn’t until I was going to bed that night that things started up again. I got in bed around 9:30 pm and as soon as I laid down I felt things starting up. I laid there paying attention to how long, intense, and frequent the contractions were. They did feel like period cramps, but at least with these, you got a break between where as period cramps are continuous for me for an unknown amount of time. Bryan came to bed around 11:00 - 11:30 pm and I told him what I was experiencing. We started timing the contractions and how far apart they were. Each one was about a minute or longer and coming every 3 to 8 minutes on average. So it wasn’t quite time to start packing up the car, but I did suggest Bryan take Bodie (our other dog) over to his parents house in case something happened in the middle of the night. When Bryan got back, he loaded up the car with our bags and the baby seat in case we needed to head out in the middle of the night.

I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t. I actually felt really hungry and decided to get up and eat a snack. I think I made a piece of toast. I finally tried laying back down and was able to fall asleep around 3 am. I abruptly woke up at 5 am and as soon as I got out of bed I felt a gush of fluid in my pants. My underwear was soaked and I was bleeding. The contractions felt pretty intense at that point. We timed them again and they were consistently lasting 60 - 90 seconds and coming every few minutes. At 6:00 am we called the midwife who happened to already be with another couple at the Napa birth center so she asked if we would be okay heading to Napa. It’s ironic that there was another birth because I distinctly asked her what happened if she had two births at the same time and she said it never happens. We had originally planned on going to the Santa Rosa birth center, but towards the end considered the Napa location due to it being in closer proximity to where the midwife lives. We also are centrally located between the two so either location really was an option.

We put the final bags and pillows in the car and headed out. Luckily at 7 am on a rainy Saturday morning there wasn’t much traffic so we made it to the birth center around 7:30 am. I was worried about having contractions in the car, but I only had 2-3 big contractions. When we arrived we got checked in which included checking baby and my’s vitals. Bryan brought in all of our bags as I settled in to laboring on the birthing ball. I ate a little snack and drank some water.

Things started to get more intense and I asked the midwife when I could get in the tub. At about 10:30 am she checked me and said I was far enough along that I could transition to the tub if I wanted. The water itself did help with the contractions and taking the edge off. However, that particular tub was really hard to get comfortable in. There was no ledge for me to rest my head and upper body on. I tried sitting in different positions but nothing really felt comfortable. At one point I went to a half kneeling position and all of a sudden I felt a very intense sensation that was much different from what I had been feeling. I remember shouting, “someone get Paula!”

Paula, the midwife, came in to assess. She said I was far enough along that if I felt like pushing, then I could push. I think that’s the difference in sensation I felt with that last contraction. When you get to that point, it’s like your whole abdomen contracts to help push the baby out which is different from an intense period cramp sensation. She also told me that as soon as the baby came out that I would have to stay in the water. As soon as the baby came out of the water she would start breathing in air and I wouldn’t be able to sit back down. I started to freak out a little that baby girl was going to arrive and freaked out about being in the water. I also just wasn’t comfortable in the tub so I made the decision to get out. I only lasted about an hour in the tub.

When I got out of the tub around 11:30 am I sat on a birthing stool for a while. I was still feeling intense contractions but not quite pushing yet. I moved onto the bed and that’s when things got more intense. I couldn’t hold back now from pushing. At the time I didn’t know that I wasn’t fully dilated and the midwife was trying to assist by pulling a small anterior portion of my cervix open. After a while I guess I wasn’t making as much progress as she wanted so she told me to try and rest during the next few contractions. I don’t know what is worse. Pushing during a contraction or holding back during a contraction. It was brutal to not push during the contractions because your body is instinctively pushing to assist baby out. Time was a blur so I don’t know how long I tried to “relax” during the contractions, but it was maybe 20 -30 minutes. The midwife checked me again and said I had progressed and I could resume pushing.

It took me a while to understand how exactly to push. I know you hear stories where women are able to push baby out in a few pushes. However, that was the case for me. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t painful because it was. At this point though it was all mental. I had a few moments where I didn’t care how she got out of me but that it needed to happen now. Then I thought about transitioning to the car and pushing in the car which sounded even worse. I wanted to give up so bad! I was exhausted! It felt like it was taking so long. I tried a couple different laboring positions including all-4’s and side lying but eventually delivered her on my back. After many pushes, the assistant midwife finally told me she had crowned, which means baby girl’s head was staying out and not retracting back after a push. A few more pushes and baby girl’s head was out! I took a break until the next contraction and then the midwife told me to push again to get her shoulders out at which point the rest of her body just sort of slipped out. As soon as she came out there was a big gush of all kinds of fluid including her meconium.

Bryan actually delivered our daughter and brought her up to my chest. I couldn’t believe she was finally here! Bryan says I said “Oh my gosh!” at least 20 times. Because she was in the birth canal for a while she had a little bit of a cone head. It’s crazy how fast it changes though because just a few hours later it had drastically gone down.

We laid in skin to skin for a while. Within a few minutes I was instructed by the midwife to push again to deliver the placenta. Bryan also cut the umbilical cord after a few minutes. Baby girl had her newborn assessment checking her vitals, taking her weight and measurements, and checking different reflexes. I’m sure there was more, but I can’t remember. Once she was done getting checked out, they did my assessment including checking for any tears, checking my uterus, and letting me use the bathroom. Luckily I had no tears! That first time stepping out of bed and walking to the bathroom was the weirdest feeling ever. I felt like I had no core and felt so unsteady on my feet. It was like I was learning to walk for the first time. Once I got back in bed I fed Remi for the first time. It was such a special moment. I felt so grateful to be able to feed my baby and bond with her that way. Now, 9 weeks in I can say it hasn’t always been easy, but I’m still grateful to be able to do so.

Once we settled in, the midwife said she was going to order food and asked if we wanted anything. I was starving! Gott’s Roadside wasn’t too far away and as soon as she said that as an option I knew I wanted a burger. It was one of the best meals of my life, not even kidding! Gott’s is a great restaurant but it probably tasted even better because I was starving at that point as it had been over 24 hours since I had eaten an actual meal.

We could have gone home at that point but it was already almost 7 pm. I was exhausted, it was raining, and the midwife and her assistants were still there with the other couple who hadn’t delivered their baby yet. We ended up staying the night because I felt better knowing the midwife was still there if we had any questions. We barely slept, but mostly because all we wanted to do was sit and stare at our baby. Plus, I was feeding her at what felt like almost every hour. The next morning Remi had a quick check from the midwife to check her weight and complete a newborn screening assessment. After that we were on our way home as a family of 3!

Since I didn’t deliver in a hospital setting I was able to consume my own food and liquids throughout labor. I mentioned I ate some snacks early on, but by the time I got to active labor I wasn’t even thinking about food or water. Bryan made a great doula and was offering me liquids in between contractions. I mostly sipped on water with electrolytes and laborade to give me a little boost of energy between pushes. Here are some labor and postpartum snacks I brought and used:

LMNT salt sticks
Laborade (essentially lemonade made with honey)
Bare Bones chicken bone broth
Fuel for Fire tropical smoothie pouches
Over Easy protein bars
Noka smoothie pouches

I used the bars and smoothie pouches during early labor as soon as I had arrived at the birth center and overnight that first night. I continued to use the smoothie pouches, bone broth, and a variety of protein bars as nursing snacks at all hours of the day because I was hungry around the clock. I used and still use 1-2 sticks of LMNT per day to keep up with hydration because I’m drinking a lot of water to keep up with my milk supply. If you want to tty LMNT, use this link to get a free sample pack with your first purchase.

All in all my birth plan pretty much went as planned. As much as I had thought I wanted to do a water birth, I realized it wasn’t for me. Maybe it would have been different if I had had a more comfortable place to rest my head and lean over the edge of the tub, but I don’t know if I enjoyed it enough to do it again. I think the pain of labor was very manageable, but I was surprised by how hard pushing was and how long it took me. I required no interventions and Remi was a strong warrior throughout! I’m so proud of myself for doing it and am so in awe of what my body is capable of! The female body is truly incredible. I did a lot of labor prep including mindset and physical prep that I think helped contribute to the labor I had. I know you can’t always account for emergency interventions, but I am grateful for the birth experience I had and the healthy baby I brought into this world!

She arrived just in time for Christmas morning snuggles! It was the best and most unforgettable Christmas!

2nd Trimester Recap